{"id":2469,"date":"2023-07-19T13:27:53","date_gmt":"2023-07-19T17:27:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thepetigrureview.com\/?page_id=2469"},"modified":"2023-07-19T13:27:53","modified_gmt":"2023-07-19T17:27:53","slug":"big-dairy-called-and-wants-to-know-why-your-milk-vat-is-empty","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/thepetigrureview.com\/?page_id=2469","title":{"rendered":"Big Dairy Called and Wants to Know Why Your Milk Vat Is Empty"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Sydney Bollinger<\/h2>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Issue 16<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Flash Fiction<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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My cows are precious and their milk is the drink of the gods. What do these nut \u201cmilk\u201d drinkers think they\u2019re doing? Doesn\u2019t everyone want to experience the physical labor of pulling on a cow\u2019s teat to get fresh milk? It\u2019s what I do to Midge every morning. I pull up my stool, place the bucket under her udder, and get to work filling that bucket to add it to the milk vat in the barn. Really, that\u2019s the joy of milk, getting a fresh warm glass from the milk vat and drinking it right there in the barn while you\u2019re thinking about the cows you raised from infancy. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t get me wrong\u2014the farmer\u2019s life is not for everyone. You have to know how to assert your dominance over the animal. You have to raise them up alongside their mamas and prepare them for that fateful day at the county fair. I paraded old Midge around in my Sunday best with the hopes I\u2019d get the shiny blue ribbon to hang in the barn. My papaw always said I had the prettiest cows with the creamiest milk and that the idiot judges would be idiots to pass on me. Good thing they weren\u2019t idiots. I took home the grand prize in dairy cows six years in a row. I was named Bovine Queen my senior year of high school. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it takes work. You gotta train a cow to walk with you, no resistance or questions asked, and still, these city folks are out there trying to milk a nut. You can\u2019t train a nut to do anything. You can\u2019t pull a nut\u2019s teat. It just sits there and lets you do all the work. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t show off a goddamned almond. Me and my family have been farming land \u2014and animals\u2014for years. It\u2019s not that fucking hard. But we\u2019re a dying breed, us farmers, and that\u2019s why nasty old Patricia called me up for the convening of the county\u2019s small business association, and mind you, my family has lived here for years, for generations! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But now that Little Rick sold his land to a housing development, it\u2019s coffee shop this and marina that. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow do you think Farmer Farmer\u2019s Farms could be involved in the economic development of the county?\u201d Patricia asked me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She flattened a map in front of her, which showed the whole county. Someone had drawn lots of red boxes which I reckon will become housing developments. \u201cA lot of folks are getting out of the farm business, you know, and I think it\u2019s time for us to come to the twenty-first century and really change how people see Kelley County.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat do you mean folks are getting out of the farm business? Where are we gonna get our food?\u201d I asked. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHow many gallons of milk do you produce a year, Lisa, really? Like twelve? You even got any cows left on that farm of yours?\u201d Patricia said. She pointed to an area on the map. My area, all outlined with a blue marker. The fellowship hall got real quiet when she said this because everyone knows that twelve gallons of milk is only one day\u2019s fucking work and Farmer Lisa Farmer does not skimp.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou could make a profit if you sold your land,\u201d she said. \u201cLittle Rick is doing pretty well for himself right now.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I huffed in Patricia\u2019s general direction, thinking about how God granted us all dominion of His green earth and what that means in terms of, like, being in charge of it or whatever, and well it just doesn\u2019t seem right that I should have to abort my livelihood from my own womb in a sticky, squelching mess that no one can clean up except, apparently, these developers. It\u2019s like I\u2019m being trampled by the hooves of my own steer when I hear about this stuff because, well, they might as well go be free in the wild or in the neighborhood since it seems that they don\u2019t need me and I don\u2019t need them anymore. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, I\u2019ll sit there drinking the glass of milk I got when I dunked my hand into the vat, covering the whole thing in that white creamy goodness and I\u2019ll walk to the fence-line to look over my fields where the soybean crop finally died for the fall, because I can see Little Rick\u2019s land encroaching on me, walking toward me bit by bit, unsanctioned, without permission. Like if that blue circle on the map just gets smaller and smaller and smaller and then there are suddenly school busses parked in my lot, and the field trip kids run out yelling about how they finally get to meet a real farmer, cause their daddies don\u2019t have fields no more, and there I am walking Midge around in my Sunday best, showing her off while the kids drink the last of the milk I could scrounge together that morning.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Sydney Bollinger<\/strong> (she\/her) is a writer, editor, and the Words Lead at Peregrine Coast Press. Her work has been published or is forthcoming in Northwest Review, Grimsy Literary Magazine, Hash Journal, Dunes Review, Hear Us Scream, This Present Former Glory, and other places. She performed original poetry in \u201cCollective Truths\u201d at the 2022 Free Verse Poetry Festival and is a featured reader for the 2023 Park Circle Pride Poetry event. Her first zine, Death Wish, was published in 2023. She lives in Charleston, SC, with her partner and their two cats. Follow her @sydboll and find her work at sydboll.com.\u00a0<\/summary>\n
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\"\"<\/a>
Read “Le mot medical juste<\/a>“<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a>
Read “The Bead Collector…<\/a>“<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
\"\"<\/a>
Read “The Mermaid Riot<\/a>“<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sydney Bollinger Issue 16 Flash Fiction My cows are precious and their milk is the drink of the gods. What do these nut \u201cmilk\u201d drinkers think they\u2019re doing? Doesn\u2019t everyone want to experience the physical labor of pulling on a cow\u2019s teat to get fresh milk? It\u2019s what I do to Midge every morning. I pull up my stool, place the bucket under her udder, and get to work filling that bucket to add it to the milk vat in the barn. Really, that\u2019s the joy of milk, getting a fresh warm glass from the milk vat and drinking it right there in the barn while you\u2019re thinking about the cows you raised from infancy.  Don\u2019t get me wrong\u2014the farmer\u2019s life is not for everyone. You have to know how to assert your dominance over the animal. You have to raise them up alongside their mamas and prepare them for that fateful day at the county fair. I paraded old Midge around in my Sunday best with the hopes I\u2019d get the shiny blue ribbon to hang in the barn. My papaw always said I had the prettiest cows with the creamiest milk and that the idiot judges would be idiots to pass on me. Good thing they weren\u2019t idiots. I took home the grand prize in dairy cows six years in a row. I was named Bovine Queen my senior year of high school.  But it takes work. You gotta train a cow to walk with you, no resistance or questions asked, and still, these city folks are out there trying to milk a nut. You can\u2019t train a nut to do anything. You can\u2019t pull a nut\u2019s teat. It just sits there and lets you do all the work.  You can\u2019t show off a goddamned almond. Me and my family have been farming land \u2014and animals\u2014for years. It\u2019s not that fucking hard. But we\u2019re a dying breed, us farmers, and that\u2019s why nasty old Patricia called me up for the convening of the county\u2019s small business association, and mind you, my family has lived here for years, for generations!  But now that Little Rick sold his land to a housing development, it\u2019s coffee shop this and marina that.  \u201cHow do you think Farmer Farmer\u2019s Farms could be involved in the economic development of the county?\u201d Patricia asked me.  She flattened a map in front of her, which showed the whole county. Someone had drawn lots of red boxes which I reckon will become housing developments. \u201cA lot of folks are getting out of the farm business, you know, and I think it\u2019s time for us to come to the twenty-first century and really change how people see Kelley County.\u201d  \u201cWhat do you mean folks are getting out of the farm business? Where are we gonna get our food?\u201d I asked.  \u201cHow many gallons of milk do you produce a year, Lisa, really? Like twelve? You even got any cows left on that farm of yours?\u201d Patricia said. She pointed to an area on the map. My area, all outlined with a blue marker. The fellowship hall got real quiet when she said this because everyone knows that twelve gallons of milk is only one day\u2019s fucking work and Farmer Lisa Farmer does not skimp.\u00a0 \u201cYou could make a profit if you sold your land,\u201d she said. \u201cLittle Rick is doing pretty well for himself right now.\u201d  I huffed in Patricia\u2019s general direction, thinking about how God granted us all dominion of His green earth and what that means in terms of, like, being in charge of it or whatever, and well it just doesn\u2019t seem right that I should have to abort my livelihood from my own womb in a sticky, squelching mess that no one can clean up except, apparently, these developers. It\u2019s like I\u2019m being trampled by the hooves of my own steer when I hear about this stuff because, well, they might as well go be free in the wild or in the neighborhood since it seems that they don\u2019t need me and I don\u2019t need them anymore.  So, I\u2019ll sit there drinking the glass of milk I got when I dunked my hand into the vat, covering the whole thing in that white creamy goodness and I\u2019ll walk to the fence-line to look over my fields where the soybean crop finally died for the fall, because I can see Little Rick\u2019s land encroaching on me, walking toward me bit by bit, unsanctioned, without permission. Like if that blue circle on the map just gets smaller and smaller and smaller and then there are suddenly school busses parked in my lot, and the field trip kids run out yelling about how they finally get to meet a real farmer, cause their daddies don\u2019t have fields no more, and there I am walking Midge around in my Sunday best, showing her off while the kids drink the last of the milk I could scrounge together that morning.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-2469","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepetigrureview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepetigrureview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepetigrureview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepetigrureview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thepetigrureview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2469"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/thepetigrureview.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/2469\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thepetigrureview.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}